Be the judge ...Have they gone TOO FAR OR NOT FAR ENOUGH!

As I was scrolling through posts  of funny cat videos, Bible verses, inspirational talks, videos of inspirational speakers & sermons and gaining access of what was going on in my island of Puerto Rico. I got an amazing post sent to me from a great friend of mine named Amanda, by the way thanks Amanda. Anyways, she sent to me a video in which I'm not going to say the name but I will put the link youtubevideo below. Let's just say BK and in this link they have placed children actors to act one as a bully and one as being bullied. Then they bully a burger to see the reaction of customers . For about a consecutive period they have them bully a child for a long duration and of course the people kept looking at the child being bullied. I know it's reality but to have this going on for a while and then they had them punching a burger, Is it correct for advertisement sake?! I don't know, I felt some kind of discord and some kind of way. Why???, should they have put it in advertisement this way. Yes, I get they advertise the people sticking up for the child, which by the way were so minimal and they did have them answer questions about them speaking up for the child being bullied at the end.  But in other words they were just advertising about their burgers being bullied, tell me what is the Justice in that, I was angered and I was upset. So I leave you with this thought and you can comment below, you be the judge tell me what you think. Is it Justified what BK did or are they helping the cause for anti-bully relief and advocacy? WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Psychological / Mental Abuse difficult to address but it's a problem in our society.

This I believe is a hugely controversial abuse and assault because it can be depicted as being the same thing as emotional abuse. Many speculate that it can be one in the same then many say it's in a class of it's own. You need to make that determination yourself.

Many define it as:

• Name calling 
• Put-downs
• Subjecting or exposing another to behavior that may result in psychological trauma, including anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder
• Rejecting, degrading, terrorizing, isolating, corrupting/exploiting and "denying emotional responsiveness

Many can speculate that this behavior although has been categorized as a Psychological can also fall under emotional abuse and assault. 

It's common to find that many of these traits can be found among family members and children. What we don't know is that these traits can also be found at the school levels and also in the work force. 

Many individuals climbing the corporate ladder use many Psychological  tactics to throw their opponents off. In a word, to sike them out! Although many adults have grown from using such tactics, many resort to subjecting or exposing another for self gain. Whether for personal or financial reasons they find these tactics give them a great boost in life.

What they might not realize is that these psychological intents can cause long lasting damage in a persons life if not addressed immediately. 

Psychological Abuse written by Natasha Tracy in "www.healthyplace.com" states:

Psychological abuse, though, can be just as devastating as physical abuse. Psychological abuse can affect your inner thoughts and feelings as well as exert control over your life. You may feel uncertain of the world around you and unsafe in your own home. Psychological abuse can destroy intimate relationships, friendships and even your own relationship with yourself.

Psychological abuse signs and symptoms may start small at first as the abuser "tests the waters" to see what the other person will accept, but before long the psychological abuse builds into something that can be frightening and threatening.

Also addressed in  NCADV.org statistic show that:

· 95% of men who physically abuse their intimate

   partners also psychologically abuse them.

· Psychologically abusive men are more likely to

use a weapon against their partners, have prior

criminal arrests, abuse substances, and have

employment problems.

· An employed woman with an unemployed

partner is more than twice as likely to be

psychologically abused by her partner.

· Having a physical disability increases a

woman’s risk of psychological abuse by 83%.

· Women who earn 65% or more of their

households’ income are more likely to be

psychologically abused.

In the workforce this is a highly common abuse but rarely addressed. We do know now that if you are being psychologically, mentally or verbally abuse you have rights. Your rights have to be addresses to your corporation or business and if that request goes unaddressed you have the right to contact a lawyer. The Chron.com Small Business and Worker's Rights states:

Unlike most first-world countries, there are currently no federal or state laws written to protect U.S. employees from verbal abuse. However, failure to nip an abusive employee's behavior in the bud can cost you big. Under regulations from the federal Occupational Safety and Health Act, or OSHA, you as a business owner can be held liable for not providing an employee with a safe and healthy workplace. An employee faced with verbal abuse can fairly claim that the abuse interferes with her ability to go about her daily job duties. You can be held responsible for retaining the services of an employee who verbally abuses another employee.

If an employee who has been verbally abused is not adequately aided at the company level, she may hire an attorney to take her case to court. Even without precise laws on the books that address the issue, OSHA standards seem to have enough bite to get the attention of courts. For example, the Indiana Supreme Court in 2008 awarded a nurse $325,000 for her claims of intentional infliction of emotional distress and assault after she was screamed at by a surgeon. Once you've heard a hint of abuse occurring within your business, you become part of the problem. You must either address it head on or be prepared to answer for your failure to do so.

This can cost a hefty sum if you are a business owner. 

It is important to understand that to have a balance work environment, a healthy home life and a happy mental attitude you must first learn how to properly address all individuals. And although it is true that we are humans and we do have a tendency to disagree and have different opinions, there should NEVER be a place where you have to put another down to get your point across.

In Psalms 109:1-3 David calls to the Lord saying:

"1 Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise; 2 for the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue.3 They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause."

I read this one time and shared it with my boys always THINK before speaking:

T-Is it True?

H-Is it Helpful or Honest?

I-Is It Inspiring?

N-Is it Necessary?

K-Is it KIND?

If it doesn't fall under any of those guidelines is best not say it at all!

Your emotions do count!

Emotional Abuse

Is defined and may involve:

°Intimidation
°Threats
°Humiliation (name calling,shaming & embarrassing)
° Insults
°Pressure
°Destruction of property
°Control Even Isolation (from family, friends..etc.)

In www.psychcentral.com the author Maria Bogdanos defines it as follows:

"Signs of Emotional Abuse By MARIA BOGDANOS"

Emotional abuse is elusive. Unlike physical abuse, the people doing it and receiving it may not even know it’s happening.

It can be more harmful than physical abuse because it can undermine what we think about ourselves. It can cripple all we are meant to be as we allow something untrue to define us. Emotional abuse can happen between parent and child, husband and wife, among relatives and between friends.

The abuser projects their words, attitudes or actions onto an unsuspecting victim usually because they themselves have not dealt with childhood wounds that are now causing them to harm others.

In the following areas, ask these questions to see if you are abusing or being abused:

1. Humiliation, degradation, discounting, negating. judging, criticizing: Does anyone make fun of you or put you down in front of others?

Do they tease you, use sarcasm as a way to put you down or degrade you?

When you complain do they say that “it was just a joke” and that you are too sensitive?

Do they tell you that your opinion or feelings are “wrong?”

Does anyone regularly ridicule, dismiss, disregard your opinions, thoughts, suggestions, and feelings?

2. Domination, control, and shame: Do you feel that the person treats you like a child?

Do they constantly correct or chastise you because your behavior is “inappropriate?”

Do you feel you must “get permission” before going somewhere or before making even small decisions?

Do they control your spending?

Do they treat you as though you are inferior to them?

Do they make you feel as though they are always right?

Do they remind you of your shortcomings?

Do they belittle your accomplishments, your aspirations, your plans or even who you are?

Do they give disapproving, dismissive, contemptuous, or condescending looks, comments, and behavior?

3. Accusing and blaming, trivial and unreasonable demands or expectations, denies own shortcomings: Do they accuse you of something contrived in their own minds when you know it isn’t true?

Are they unable to laugh at themselves?

Are they extremely sensitive when it comes to others making fun of them or making any kind of comment that seems to show a lack of respect?

Do they have trouble apologizing?

Do they make excuses for their behavior or tend to blame others or circumstances for their mistakes?

Do they call you names or label you?

Do they blame you for their problems or unhappiness?

Do they continually have “boundary violations” and disrespect your valid requests?

4. Emotional distancing and the “silent treatment,” isolation, emotional abandonment or neglect: Do they use pouting, withdrawal or withholding attention or affection?

Do they not want to meet the basic needs or use neglect or abandonment as punishment?

Do they play the victim to deflect blame onto you instead of taking responsibility for their actions and attitudes?

Do they not notice or care how you feel?

Do they not show empathy or ask questions to gather information?

5. Codependence and enmeshment: Does anyone treat you not as a separate person but instead as an extension of themselves?

Do they not protect your personal boundaries and share information that you have not approved?

Do they disrespect your requests and do what they think is best for you?

Do they require continual contact and haven’t developed a healthy support network among their own peers?

Maria Bogdanos is an emotional health coach.

If you feel like you are constantly doing a balancing act to make the person you are with happy then there is nothing you can say or do that will change their frame of thought. They must seek help and there is a chance. Many people who are emotionally abusing don't think or know they are doing anything wrong. Some may be unaware of their behaviour as being unacceptable. There is still an opportunity for those individuals to receive help and also for those who received the emotional abuse.

Many children fall victim to this kind of abuse. In turn they relay their frustrations in anger and will express themselves negatively by hurting others because they themselves are hurt.

The word wants us not to fall victim to idle words. It specifically says:

Proverbs 21:23 ESV
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Proverbs 15:1 ESV
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 12:18 ESV
There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Psalm 34:13
Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.

James 1:26 ESV
If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

1 Peter 3:10 ESV
For “Whoever desires to love life and see good days, let him keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit;

If you are feeling emotionally worn please call one of the numbers on this site or visit www.psycentral.com and seek help.

You can also look under your local yellow pages and seek help.